I have only one short day left before I leave for LA for the rest of summer.  In between leaving Baltimore and heading to LA I stopped home in MN for a few days.  As my years in college pass, the amount of time I spend at home dwindles, and this year I think it was quickly approaching less than two weeks.  When you leave for college as an incoming freshmen there is comfort in knowing that it’s okay because you’ll be back home soon enough anyways.  The reality, at least for me anyways, that the day I left home for my freshmen year was and will probably be the last day I would ever really live at home.

Being far away from home definitely has advantages.  It’s nice to become your own person and gain independence.  In my case, going to school on the east coast was an opportunity to finally get out the of the Midwest and see the country.  Yet while you are away from home, you can miss out on so much.  In my experience, many of my friends from high school attended local university, and I have since lost touch with them.  It’s hard having life move on without you sometimes.

Eight months ago my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and in the past month her disease has rapidly accelerated.  Since I’ve been home, I have been spending time with her, and for the past eight months my mom’s schedule has revolved completely around her.  Alzheimer’s is such a devastatingly sad disease, not only for the individual but also especially for the families.  Since seeing my grandmother at Christmas, she has declined.  She is frailer, and now she doesn’t recognize her own home.  Some nights she thinks she’s in Mexico, others she is in Alaska.  Memories are something we cherish.  They are the things we remember that bring us happiness or solace in hard times.  Watching someone’s memories slip away is heartbreaking.

Yesterday my mom told me she doesn’t think she will make it through the summer.  I guess I wasn’t surprised, but it was certainly something difficult to hear.  Together we came to the conclusion that if she passed away while I was in Baltimore or California, I would not attend the funeral.  It’s hard to know that I won’t get that opportunity to say goodbye because I’ve chosen to place myself so far from home, but I hate funerals anyways.  So in this remaining time at home, I will continue to spend time with my grandmother, accepting the fact that it will likely be my last.  But in the end, no matter what happens, I will still have my happy memories of her from before her diagnosis with Alzheimer’s, countless Christmases and Easters and Birthdays to remember.

It’s amazing the things you will accumulate in college.  Sometimes you don’t really recognize it until you have to put it all in boxes.  From textbooks, to filled and half-filled notebooks, to the clothes you’ve been accumulating since freshmen year, it all has to fit into boxes.  I made my final move until graduation the past few days.  I came to Hopkins with only two suitcases, and boy have my belongings grown since then.

I save boxes from things I order online to use when moving. They make great entertainment, too!

I am slowly unpacking what seems to be countless boxes in my living room.  With each box, I am remembering the places I have been since I came to Hopkins, and more importantly the person I was and now the person I have become.  I used to wear jeans all the time as a freshman, and now I can’t even remember the last time I pulled a pair of jeans on.  I found the pennant I was given on my first day of SAAB.  The plaque I was given at the Gilman rededication ceremony last year made from the marble of the old Gilman steps.  Lastly, I found a bottle of sparking apple juice from the ChemBE Student Excellence ceremony from last year.  I threw that away.  It’s funny how so many things I haven’t touched since my first year here.  I have nearly everything from my first year, including my old twin xl bedding and twin down mattress pad.  I thought maybe I should throw them out, but I guess I never know.  Someday I might be in a dorm room again.  On the other hand, I have lots of new things too, including my very first suit I just purchased for my upcoming summer in LA.

Every year moving turns into a more dramatic multiple day process.  The number of boxes and bins always increases, and there is also some dramatic event that makes the whole thing worse. This year one of my cats went missing while the movers my roommate hired left the apartment door propped open.  For three hours I searched every nook and cranny, calling his name.  He was nowhere.  I had begun to loose hope that somewhere between the 16^th and 4^th floors he was gone.  But then after everyone had left, and I was alone still moving, I leaned against my bed and found him near my feet.  I think he had crawled inside a piece of furniture to hide, but I was so relieve to have him back.  Of all the things I have accumulated during college, there are some that definitely mean more than others.

Wilbur with his lost cat poster. He's even making friends with JHU_Greco!

I have another week before I head home for a few days before heading the UCLA for the rest of the summer.  Without tv or internet, I am taking my time unpacking each box and carefully organizing my apartment.