College is a wonderfully exciting time. You learn a lot in and out of class. With one semester to go, I figured I’d give a run down of some of the finer points of life that I’ve learned while at Hopkins. I’ll be sure to update this list at the end of the year, but for now…
Things I’ve learned at Hopkins – Pt. 1:
- If a professor says attendance is mandatory but doesn’t keep attendance, people will stop showing up after the third week.
- As a guy, you will unintentionally understand fashion trends. For example, understanding what jeggings are when brought up in conversation.
- If your TA isn’t fun, your class will be harder. Know your TA. You can really hit or miss with paper titles like my paper on the natural factors contributing to global warming called “Some Like It Hot”.
- When people say that an event is free, they are really just saying you already paid for it with your tuition.
- No matter what time you walk past the Freshman Quad, there will always be lights on in the AMRs.
- If there is some bit of news or pop culture (this includes every viral video) that is floating around on the internet, you will know about it within an hour.
- 9 AM in college time = 5 AM in real time.
- This is obvious: The M level challenge is harder than the D level challenge.
- People who were overachievers in high school are still annoying in college.
- If you are in a relationship, add 3 credit hours to your semester total. It will give you a more accurate readout of your free time. Plan accordingly.
- Free/cheap tshirts are easier to find than Olin Hall.
- As much as you try to prevent it, you will eat the same things in the dining hall pretty much every day.
- Marble is slippery when wet.
- The gym looks nice from the outside.
- The quality of a class is determined by professor, content, and classmates. Too bad there is no ratemyclassmates.com.
- On a related note, there will alway be one person in class who raises their hand in a large lecture. Many of them tell personal anecdotes before asking awful questions. Many will do this at the end of class when the professor asks “Are there any questions?”
- Appointments with professors work much better than going to their office hours.
- Freshmen think they are the first ones to do anything they do at Hopkins.
- Seniors think about everything as the last time they will do something at Hopkins.
- A roommate is your best friend and worst enemy.
- Every college student graduates with a comprehensive knowledge of how to BS.
- Humanities majors will get thorough instruction on how to be pretentious by learning philosophical ideas, literary and historical references, and figuring out how to relate everything back to Marxist ideas.
- People will go to anything if you offer them free food.
- The shortest route between two points does not involve the brick pathways. If you are in a hurry, don’t follow the red brick road.
- Hearing someone complain about getting an A- is a form of cruel and unusual punishment.
As with the other lists, any other suggestions from the HI team? Or any disagreements?
The absurdities of college life are slowly becoming apparent, but it’s worth all the craziness.