The other day a few friends and I were talking about classes over dinner. You know, normal stuff: finals, exams, grades, etc. During the conversation, one of my friends said something I don’t think I’ll ever forget – half because it was funny and half because it was incredibly accurate. He said: “You can’t disrespect the course. The course will do you dirty right back.”, and after laughing about it, I gave it some thought. The man had a point.
Then again, maybe you’re wondering what exactly disrespecting the class means. Well, good news, I’ve got a checklist just for you.
How to Disrespect a Class
- Skip all the lectures.
First and foremost, you’re not going to want to go to class. Like, at all. Sure, once and while you might wake up, hit your alarm clock and go “Man, I just really wanna go hear about partial differential equations today.”, but for the most part, skipping class is step one towards disrespecting a class.
- Don’t do the homework. Ever.
One of the beautiful things about college is you don’t have to do anything. So, if you don’t have to do the homework, why do it? Honestly, it’s a waste of time more than anything else. Who learns from practicing the material taught in lecture, anyways? Trick question: you’re not supposed to be going to lectures.
Oh, and if you do choose to do the homework every now and again, make sure you wait until the last possible minute.
- Never read ahead.
Let’s be real, what good is going ahead of the material going to do? We both know it’s a much better use of your time to sit back in bed, throw on some Netflix and eat unhealthy amounts of food for hours on end. Right? Right.
- Snapchat your professors while they lecture.
Okay, okay – so you managed to drag yourself to class. Now what? Take notes? Yeah, no. Correct answer: send Snapchats of your professor to everyone. I mean c’mon, who doesn’t want to see a dog filter on an esteemed professor while they try to teach you material that will inevitably decide your grade. I’ll tell you who does: your fans.
Do all four of these things, and you’re well on your way to complete disrespect of a class. Go for it and let me know how it turns out.
On the other hand, avoid all four of these things and you’re well on your way to an A. Trust me, don’t disrespect a class. It never turns out well.