Wish You Were Here

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler

This year, I’m taking my spring break a little earlier than I expected. Background: during my freshman year Intersession, I went to New Orleans. Long story short, I fell in love with the place, the people, the food, the atmosphere, the experience. I left on the day of the first Mardi Gras 2008 parade and really wished I had been there to see the holiday unfold. When I came back to Baltimore and started my second semester of school, I vowed to myself that I would go to Mardi Gras my senior year – I would be 21 and this would be my last time, before getting a job, to go away for a random week in March and do nothing but have fun. JHU decided that our Spring Break would be March 21-25 this year…but Mardi Gras this year is March 8. So you can probably see how this didn’t really work out with my plans.

So, to kick off my “pre” spring break, I’ll be taxiing down the runway towards New Orleans tomorrow morning with my friends Courtney and Kayla. For the first two days, we’re staying outside the city with Kayla’s grandmother. We’ll be eating home-cooked cajun meals, visiting famous landmarks and especially plantations (I loved Oak Alley and can’t wait to go back!), and reuniting with my old penpal Ashley and her family for dinner. I’ve known her for over ten years and her family feels like the Southern extension of my own, so it feels great to be able to see them all again. She’s my official first friend to be getting married as well, which is crazy! But I haven’t even met her fiance yet with all those miles between us, so I’m excited to finally do that too.

Once in the city on Monday, we’ll do lots of touristy sight-seeing and even more Mardi Gras celebrating! I’m pumped for the parades and the music and the general spirit of the city: Ashley told me that I have no idea what I’m getting myself into, and I can believe it. This is a holiday where the entire city gets together for the sole purpose of celebrating their culture and having an amazing time. I’m so thrilled to be able to be a part of that this year.

Luckily, missing all but one of my classes isn’t going to be as much of a problem as it sounds. Since I haven’t missed any classes so far, my professors were really understanding and wished me a good time. I have all of my work for the next two weeks mapped out in my agenda and will tackle it first thing when I get back. (And with just a week between my return flight and Spring Break, I won’t have too long to wait for another week off so I can really catch up – on work and on sleep!) I have a lot of movies to watch and some fiction sketches/papers to write, but I’m not worrying about any of it right now. I’m packing up my dresses, my camera, and a book to read, and heading off to the city. I’m ready to let the good times roll.

the writing center

Out of my group of friends, I’d probably win the award for Most Likely to Have to Go to Work. I mostly do it because I need the money – to eat, pay rent, shop, and enjoy Baltimore to its fullest. But I also actually, genuinely love what I do. I work about an average of 20 hours each week, split between the Admissions office, Girls Life Magazine (as a remote website monitor), and the JHU Writing Center. And, since the only one of these I’ve really never addressed is the Writing Center, I figured I would do that now.

WHAT?

The Writing Center is located in the Hutzler Reading Room of Gilman Hall, one of the major study spots on campus (and my absolute favorite). The purpose of the Writing Center is to offer students free, individual conferences with tutors trained to consult on “argument-based academic writing assignments.” That basically includes your standard papers, essays, reports, even personal statements and proposals. We don’t discriminate against departments: we take English papers just as seriously as we do Philosophy, History, Anthropology, even most science reports (though we don’t do lab reports). The only thing we strictly don’t cover is creative writing, like fiction or poetry.

WHO?

I’ve been a tutor since fall of my junior year. The tutors at the Writing Center are mostly graduate students with some of us undergraduates mixed in. In order to be considered for the job of undergraduate tutor, you have to be nominated by a professor and go through an application/interview process. If you’re selected, you then are trained in a semester-long 1-credit course about effective tutoring strategies in all sorts of scenarios. And you can trust us: we had to complete an extensive series of observations, tandem tutor sessions, and evaluations before we were approved to take the reins on our own.

The Writing Center is open to all undergraduates and graduate students in both the Krieger School of Arts and Sciences and the Whiting School of Engineering.

HOW?

Each session is 50 minutes long and we’re open from Sundays-Thursdays 2pm-10pm. That means you have plenty of opportunities to make an appointment! We’ll start by asking you about the essay prompt, then about your approach to the assignment. Then, we’ll spend about 20 minutes actually reading what you’ve brought (if it’s really long, we’ll stick to the first/most crucial 8-10 pages). After that, we’ll offer our suggestions and ask if you have any questions. And we cover it all: thematic, grammatical, structural, stylistic concerns and everything in between.

WHY?

If you’re using the Writing Center, it’s important to remember that we aren’t editors: we’re not there to correct your entire paper and send you on your way. Instead, as our current director has said, we’re in the business of making better writers. The specific paper at hand is important, but the best session will include examples of revisions that the student can take away and apply on their own in the future.

—

I absolutely love working at the Writing Center. Balancing the three jobs and classwork is tough at times, but writing has always been my strongest academic skill. We get a lot of looks of sheer panic when appointments start (especially when the paper is due tomorrow), but it feels excellent to be able to use my ability to help my peers calm down, look at their words more carefully, and learn how to better approach writing. It’s the greatest success when they realize writing isn’t something to dread – or, at the very least, it’s something they can control. And that’s when I know I’ve done my job well.

the classes: part 8

It’s hard to believe – and I don’t even really want to admit it – but this is officially my last “classes” post…ever.

It’s weird being a senior. I’ve written posts about how great it is: realizing you’ve created a home for yourself from scratch, feeling like now is the time to really branch out and try new things creatively, and even making life changes to allow you to feel and be the person you know you truly are. Soon, I’ll be writing an honest-to-goodness “Perks of Being a Senior” blog entry that I think will be a lot of fun.

But, first, comes one of the anti-perks – that moment when you realize your time is actually running out. This semester, I had my last first day of school ever. Each day I go to class, I realize that these five classes are the last college classes I will ever take. It makes me a little sad, but also a little excited. Mostly, it makes me wish I could stay here another semester just to fit in everything I really want to do.

There’s, of course, a moral to this story that a high school senior (or junior or sophomore) can take away. Treat every year like it’s your last year. It’s easy, whether in high school or college, to become burned out and try to coast through. You’re tired of doing the work, tired of classes that keep you up studying, tired of “not learning anything.” But something I’ve actually learned is that, when you take classes that get you excited, it’s easier to pull yourself out of those ruts. Don’t be afraid to take classes that challenge you. Don’t be afraid to take a class in a subject you have never studied before (like my Cognitive Science class I took, just because!). Don’t be intimidated by a new professor. JUST DO IT. Because, when you reach senior spring and are looking back at your four years here, you don’t want to have any regrets.

History of Modern Philosophy (Michael Williams)

To be totally honest, I’m only taking this class because I have to. To complete my Writing Seminars major, I have to take two philosophy courses and two history courses (beyond the actual “major” requirements) – they’re all done except one philosophy, so here I am. I struggled to decide which class I should take because there were so many available, but I’m pleased with my decision. This course covers the “modern philosophers” and discusses how they were inspired by the ancients, the different ways we have approached thought and knowledge in the past, and what that means for us to this day. I actually enjoy the readings (which include literature by Descartes, Bacon, Kant, and Locke) and look forward to listening to Professor Williams speak during lecture. He’s taught at Yale, Northwestern, MIT (just to name a few) and he’s extensively published. Impressive! I’m not great at writing philosophic papers so I’m not looking forward to that part of class…but we’ll deal with that hurdle when we come to it.

Violent Attractions (Lucy Bucknell)

I’ve never been a huge fan of violent movies – I can handle it (and even enjoy gratuitous violence here and there), but horror and gore are not my favorites. Still, I wanted to push myself a little bit this semester and take a class about something I’ve never taken the time to appreciate before. In this class, we discuss all forms of violence (not just physical) in films from as early as 1915 up to modern times. And we see two films each week that complement each other in some way, so it’s kind of interesting to be able to compare films with each other (and inspect the genre as a whole), rather than just picking out themes and symbols in one example. I haven’t seen a lot of the films on the syllabus even though I should have, so I feel like the class will definitely fill in some holes that I have in my film education. I’ve already completed my oral presentation for the semester as well, so I feel much more relaxed!

Outdoor Stories (Robert Roper)

I have a few favorite professors here at Hopkins, but I think Professor Roper is at the top of that list. I was originally signed up for three different classes that didn’t really thrill me when the Writing Seminars department emailed us about a new class being added to the registrar’s schedule. When I heard Roper was teaching it, I bent over backwards to rearrange my entire schedule – just to fit this one in. And I’m so glad I did. Not only did I end up with better, more exciting classes for my senior spring, but Outdoor Stories is already a lot of fun. It is a writing and reading course, which is perfect because I get to be creative while also analyzing the works of some of the most respected authors out there. The inspiration behind the course comes from the idea of wilderness as a main character: stories inspired by the themes, symbolism, and effects of nature. It’s a really original concept and I’m excited to see where it goes from here!

Film Theory (Meredith Ward)

This is another class that, technically, I’m taking because I have to. But just like philosophy, that’s not to say I’m not really happy to be in it! Most of my basic Film & Media Studies requirements are finished except for this one (I procrastinated, I admit it), but it’s kind of neat because I’m in a class of freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors. We started off the semester by inspecting what makes a good film and what makes a bad one…by screening No Country for Old Men and Dude, Where’s My Car? in the same week. It was definitely a unique film class experience, and one that made me really happy I decided to be a Film and Media Studies major in the first place. The rest of the semester promises to be just as interesting: we’re going to talk about how the cinema deals with dreams, how it can provide intimate looks at people in a way that theater cannot, “cinema as magic,” and more.

French Cinema of the 1930’s (Suzanne Roos)

This class is sort of peculiar when it comes to film classes. Most are small, and this one is no exception – there are only 4 of us total in the class. But I’m actually the only film major in the class at all. With me are pretty much all science majors! There is also a student in the class who may be taking the class for credit towards a French major, which means he will write all of his papers for the class in French. It’s really different because the people in the class are approaching it from so many different angles – and I love it. I love that the film major is so small, but it’s also refreshing to branch out and take classes with new people, hear different perspectives, and learn new things. That’s how I’m approaching this class. I’ve never studied French cinema before and also never had Suzanne Roos as a professor, so this semester will be a series of “new” things for me. And I can’t wait.

let the finale commence

Greetings from the day before my last semester at Hopkins! Today is a relatively simple day, to be filled with lunch with friends in Hampden, my first Alpha Phi meeting of 2011, and my last precious hours of freedom before my “senior spring” officially begins.

This means I just wrapped up my very last Intersession ever (or the three-ish weeks between winter break and spring semester, when students can take classes, work, travel, or just hang out at home). I knew I wanted to make this Intersession one to remember – it was my last after all, so it couldn’t just be average! First, I needed 1 social science credit in order to finish my distribution requirements. Instead of a core curriculum of required classes, at Hopkins you only need to take a certain number of credits in areas outside your major (my major is in the Humanities, so I needed to take 30 credits total in Social Science, Natural Science, Quantitative Science, or Engineering). So I took care of business and signed up for a 1-credit class called A Self-made Society: America’s Social Nineteenth Century in the History department. And, even though I only took it to satisfy a requirement and help me graduate, it actually ended up being a lot of fun. We read nineteenth century newspapers, listened to music of the time, played social games that people our age would have played then, and talked about the major social movements of the century. The work was really minimal too – the hardest part was waking up since the class was at 9:00am, so I could hardly complain.

I also took Wine Appreciation, which is a personal enrichment class held every Tuesday night from 7-9pm. We have four sessions and learn tons about the types of grapes used to make wine, how to read wine labels, the best regions and vineyards, why wines are priced the way they are, how to describe the taste, and more. Our instructor has been interested in wine for years and has sampled some of the best bottles in the world. He knows the best wine critics, the best books to read, the stores to visit for the best deals…he’s great. Each person in the class ends up having about a half bottle of wine each session; plus, our instructor pairs complementary cheeses and breads with each wine selection so we’re able to cleanse our palette and also know what flavors work best with them. I’m taking it with two friends and I get so excited when Tuesdays roll around!

But Intersession isn’t all about classes – I did a lot of other things too. I worked in Admissions. I played in the snow (and we sure had a lot of it). I spent a weekend in Washington, DC with Jackie to experience a new city for a little while. I saw movies and caught up on television. I took part in Baltimore’s Restaurant Week (January 21-30 this year) by having dinner at Sullivan’s Steakhouse and lunch at Alchemy. I went out with friends nearly every day and I slept – a lot.

And now, I’m gearing up for my last semester ever as an undergrad. I don’t know if I’ll go to grad school – it’s in the cards, but not for next year at least – so this could very well be the last few months of school I’ll ever have. It’s scary, considering I’ve been in some sort of school for the past seventeen years of my life. But this semester, I have the best classes, the best friends, and the best plans a senior could ask for. I’ll blog more about each of these things in the coming weeks. For now, I’m just so excited. I’m so ready to get started.

although it’s been said many times, many ways

It’s no secret how much I love the holidays. I’m the friend who starts listening to Christmas music at the end of September. I’m the one who had the tree trimmed, the apartment decorated, the cookies baking before Thanksgiving. I’m the one who “Oohs” and “Aahs” over twinkle lights and the one who thinks there can never be too much tinsel on the tree. There’s just something about Nat King Cole’s smooth voice and the biting chill of winter temperatures that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

This year {just like all the others}, I had to balance my overflowing holiday cheer with a few major academic assignments. There were two Italian tests and an oral exam, a final story for Advanced Fiction Workshop, and a lengthy research paper for The Actor in Hollywood that had to be done before December 7. But I considered myself lucky, because that meant that I had no actual final exams and could go home a week before nearly everyone else! I felt mildly concerned about finishing it all but, in reality, I couldn’t complain one bit. In fact, it even added to my Christmas giddiness that I had free time to spend out of the library and on much more important things, like playing lazy Scrabble games and watching Letters to Juliet and attending my favorite a capella concerts.

Because really, no matter how much work I have to do, my priority in December is always making sure I rub off on everyone around me that “warm and fuzzy” feeling I’ve got inside. I first started to gear up for Christmas this year by going home for Thanksgiving with my friend Courtney, who lives in Bermuda and couldn’t go home for such a short amount of time. We had dinner with family, reunited with my friends at home, and got much-needed sleep – all very important aspects of the holiday season in my opinion! When we got back to school, we prepared even further by going ice skating off-campus. I  figure skated seriously for a few years when I was younger and it felt amazing to be back on the ice after so long.

The next week was a blur of fun and formals that was spent dancing the night away and pretending I didn’t actually have all that work to do. On Tuesday, Alpha Phi had our annual winter formal called the “Bordeaux Ball.” It was held at Red Maple in Baltimore, a gorgeous venue with great food and all of our favorite music playing. Though it was bittersweet as my last APhi winter formal ever, I had such a great time and can’t imagine a better last one.

Then, that Saturday was my last hoorah before I really had to focus on work: I went to the All Nighters a capella concert, then Sig Ep’s winter formal at their house, then the All Nighters’ after party. I see all of my friends at least once every week {usually more} but, for some reason, these special events make it even more fun to go out and socialize with them all.

With such a strong build-up, of course I needed something epic to do on the night before I went home for break. So my friends and I threw a big ugly sweater party in my and Maxi’s apartment. We invited all of our friends and bought lots of food and drinks for everyone. We had a Secret Santa organized beforehand and even ordered mistletoe to hang in one of our doorframes. Growing up, I always had this dream of attending swanky holiday parties with jazz playing and red velvet swishing around me. And now I finally was able to make that daydream a reality: I put my huge, charming apartment {if I do say so myself!} to use and sat back to watch my Baltimore loved ones all under one roof having a great time.

And now I’m looking forward to entire month at home before I get back to Baltimore for Intersession. I haven’t had this much time home for winter break in a long time, so I’m making sure to enjoy every second. I’ve already gotten to catch up with family and friends, sleep til early afternoon, and see Santa Claus drive through the neighborhood on a firetruck decorated with Christmas lights. I helped pick out our Christmas tree {it’s a beauty} and we’ll be baking cookies very soon. I’ll have to start thinking about my job hunt and spring semester soon, but for now…wish you were here!

the time of my life

For the last couple of weeks, all of the Hopkins Interactive bloggers have been writing on a common theme:  our thoughts and reflections on the college application process.  We’ve all been exactly where you are now and hope that sharing our experiences will help you through this momentous (but challenging!) time in your life. This post is part 2 of 2 I’ll be writing on the topic. (Read part 1 here.)

I was going to write another entry with advice to all of you who are approaching that intimidating college application deadline – something useful to remember when asking for recommendations, what to look for on college visits, tips to finish up (or start, if you procrastinate like I do) that application essay. But when I sat down to write it…I realized that I had no idea what to say because, somehow, I have become very, very old.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been in high school, or since I applied to college, or even since I set foot on the Hopkins campus for my first day of freshman year. I’ve come a long way from the high school senior who got lost trying to show her parents the Rec Center the day after her overnight stay. I’m a college senior now – and I know Hopkins so well that I can walk blindly around campus from class to work to lunch to meetings, so preoccupied with other things that I let my subconscious senses take over. I don’t get lost and I don’t go off-track. It’s just like my body knows where I’m going, after being here for so long.

During the summer before my first year here, I had a hard time reminding myself I would actually have to go off to college at some point. I was nervous for the work, nervous to be in a city where I knew no one…but for some reason, my imagination always put me sleeping in my familiar bed at home, studying at my familiar dining room table, eating meals at my familiar restaurants around my hometown. It was only the middle of August when I realized these things would be entirely new – entirely replaced – when I came to school. And when I got to campus my freshman year, I really resented the older students who called Hopkins their “home.” They’d talk about how, when they went to their actual homes to visit their families, they felt like they were out of place because of how comfortable they had gotten at Hopkins. They’d talk about how easy it was to settle in and how they actually missed school when they went on break. I couldn’t imagine it – I was already counting down the days til I could go home, calling my parents and telling them I didn’t think I could make it for four whole years. I told myself “Home Sweet Hopkins” would never happen to me: home was home, and that was that. This was just temporary and wouldn’t ever compete.

And then all sorts of crazy things happened to my freshman self. I decorated my dorm with photos and fake flowers, I joined clubs related to my most passionate interests, I started raising my hand in classes and finding the corners of the Hut where I did my best work (and people-watching). I survived my first failing test grade in college and reveled in my first A+. I made friends – real friends, ones I didn’t feel uneasy around and ones that made me feel amazing about being myself and being here. I had my first college relationship, explored all corners of Baltimore, got my first job. And somehow, between that first emotional day on campus and this cold winter afternoon in the library…Hopkins became my home, too.

So if you’re anxious about leaving home – or even if you’re just having trouble imagining yourself next year at college – remember that time is an amazing thing. How you feel, think, or behave a month from now is a total mystery. So much can happen and you can learn so much in such short amounts of time. Obviously, to settle in anywhere you have to do some work: social work, academic work, domestic work. You have to make an effort to be comfortable somewhere entirely foreign. But even when you think it’s never going to happen…trust time, and know that it will do its job to push you along to where you need to be.

And really, the fact that I did it is so satisfying. I made a home here for myself, complete with a warm apartment and a family of genuine, good-hearted friends. I didn’t think it would ever happen, and it did. It proved to me that I can make it anywhere. I can be on my own and I can make positive things happen. Looking ahead to the post-graduation chapter of my life isn’t nearly as scary when I remember this. I can do it.

applying to hopkins: the interview

For the next couple of weeks, all of the Hopkins Interactive bloggers will be writing on a common theme:  our thoughts and reflections on the college application process.  We’ve all been exactly where you are now and hope that sharing our experiences will help you through this momentous (but challenging!) time in your life. This post is part 1 of 2 I’ll be writing on the topic.

As an admissions representative, I’ve gotten the chance to do something pretty cool for the past two years: I give on-campus interviews to prospective students who have either applied or are thinking of applying to Hopkins. (AdmissionsMark wrote a great blog entry about the process from an admissions point-of-view, so you should definitely read that!) Personally, I had three interviews when I was applying to colleges (not one from Hopkins though), all given by alumni from those schools in a town next to mine. The interviews were very similar in a lot of ways, the biggest being my intense anxiety before and after each one. Back then, to put it frankly…I was convinced I was going to bomb them all miserably. But now, after being able to experience the interview process with a “behind-the-scenes” perspective, I feel much more secure and better able to actually express myself in an interview setting. I obviously love giving interviews because I love meeting the next generation of off-to-college students and helping them get all their questions answered, but I’m also really grateful for the chance to have a job that has taught me such a useful lesson for the future. (It really is a good skill to have – making a good first impression is key!)

So, in an effort to save you from a little bit of that stress, I decided to write about a few of the key things I wish prospective students would remember before, during, and after interviews. It’s sort of a combination of what I’ve learned about interviews in general (from my college interview process, copious interviews for internships, and ever-developing social skills) and what I hope to see from a student when I give an interview. There’s no way to score a guaranteed acceptance into a college from a stellar interview alone (read point #5), but remembering these points can help calm your nerves and make you feel like you have prepared as much as possible for the big day.

#1 Don’t. Stress. Out.

Part of my whole “pre-interview spiel” is dedicated to letting the student know an important piece of information: the on-campus interview is meant to be an informative discussion, not a grill session. I’m not going to ask you about your SATs or your most brilliant plan to save the world via research or how many A’s you got last year. I’m going to ask you real questions that help me get to know you and your interests: what do you do in your free time, what’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned in one of your classes this year, etc. So before you come in for an interview, shake the nerves with some deep breaths and RELAX. You can tell when someone is nervous – if their eyes flit around the room instead of watching me, if their voice shakes, if they fidget. We don’t “take off points” for that, but it puts us on edge and it also is distracting for you when you’re trying to formulate your thoughts.

Another important thing to remember is that I, and all interviewers, hope that you feel comfortable to stop me at any point to ask your questions about Hopkins. Of course we want to get a sense of how well you’d “fit” here and how much you would take advantage of the opportunities available here, but the main goal is for you to leave the interview with as much information about Hopkins as possible in order to decide whether your should apply and, in the future if the chance arises, enroll.

#2 Prepare – but not too much.

Before your interview, prepare by brainstorming possible questions you could be asked. Obviously, you’re not going to be able to figure out exactly what I’m going to want to know, but you can consider your classes and extracurriculars; you can think about how people (friends, family) might describe you if they were asked to; you can reflect on your criteria during the college search, what sets Hopkins apart from the rest on your list, etc. Then, think about how you might want to answer these questions in order to say everything efficiently and coherently.

But one of the worst things is when I ask a student a question and it sounds like they are giving me a canned answer that, no doubt, has been written, rehearsed on family members, and rewritten to sound just right. It should be organic, but you should also make sure you feel comfortable talking about yourself (here, practice makes perfect!). Which leads me to my next point…

#3 Talking about yourself does not equal bragging.

If the interviewer asks about your greatest achievement (or something along those lines), don’t downplay it in an effort to seem modest. You don’t want to be obnoxiously boastful, but you have to toot your own horn and let them know what sets you apart from the rest. I know a lot of people who have trouble with this and who will avoid talking about their positive aspects just because they don’t want to seem snooty or cocky. But one of the greatest things about the interview is it’s a candid, one-on-one way to show me why you’d be a good contribution to the school. As long as you don’t talk about them in an annoying way, your accomplishments will make you seem driven, ambitious, and mature – not braggy.

#4 Come with questions.

As we’ve said in the past, these interviews are supposed to be informative. I would love nothing more than to sit with a student for 20 minutes and answer question after question about life at Hopkins! It’s not a bad thing if you don’t have any questions to ask, but it will make you appear interested and curious, both plusses in the interview room. Even if you come with a couple questions of your own to keep the conversation going, that’s plenty! I’ve had students ask me everything, from questions about Fresh Food Café, to parties on the weekends, to sports and research and life off-campus, to even my least favorite thing about Hopkins. It’s all fair game, so think hard about what you really want to know and don’t be afraid to ask it.

#5 It’s about the whole package…no, really, it is!

I remember driving to one of my interviews, certain that I was going to say the wrong thing and immediately be denied from that school. But something I’ve learned from working with admissions is that, while the interview is important, it is most likely not going to define your shot at getting in. There are so many other things to consider: grades, teacher recommendations, your personal essay, etc. Interviews are great ways to establish a personal connection between the school and an applicant, but taking a little too long to answer a question does not automatically spell “DENY” to Hopkins. Remember that, and the whole mystical interview process seems instantly less scary.

And speaking of the whole package…that goes for your interview-day presentation too. It’s about your words, but your hair and clothes factor into the way the interviewer will interpret what you say. You don’t need to get dressed up in formal wear, but remember that the college application process is a formal one. You should wear business-casual clothes, which don’t include sweatpants, flip-flops, or dirty tee shirts. It isn’t because we’re all shallow that I mention this: it just really helps when it looks like you respect yourself, take care of yourself, and want to be as polished as possible when trying to make a good impression. It shows you care, which is the most important thing of all.

creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. art is knowing which ones to keep.

Although my classes are giving me a lot of work this semester, one of the things that is keeping me going is how much I absolutely love each of them. {Well, except for Bioethics, which I ended up dropping on the last possible day.} My favorite at the moment is Dramatic Writing: Plays, followed by a close second in Dance for the Camera. And so, since I haven’t talked about academics much this semester yet, I figured I would devote a blog to two of my favorite projects so far in each of these classes.

The first, Dramatic Writing: Plays, is entirely new territory for me. Every day I go, I learn something new because I’ve never been remotely well-versed on plays at all. I go to them every once in a while; I see one-acts and other productions on campus; one of my favorite movies is Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, a film adaptation of an Edward Albee play that I’ve never actually seen on stage. But I never knew how to think for the stage, how to format a play, or how to present one in a workshop. It’s exciting, then, to get an assignment and start working those creative gears in a new way. I’m presenting a play next Friday based on the following assignment, which I enjoyed so much: we had to find an old black-and-white postcard that featured some interesting setting or action going on. Then, we had to write a 4-6 page scene based on it, starting with two characters and working in a delayed entrance of a third. And every part of it, from looking for the postcard I was going to use to the writing process (which I’m still in the midst of), has been a total blast. This was one of the reasons why I loved Matt Porterfield’s screenplay class last semester: I love finding inspiration in unexpected places and being encouraged to use such materials as old postcards, photography, and songs to give new life to an idea.

Dance for the Camera is an entirely different animal. I’m working in a group with one of my fellow film majors and a dance student from Towson, so we have to collaborate on film/video projects that highlight dance movement and show it in a new, interesting way. It’s tough because I have my own creative ideas/values as a film major and Diana has hers: we agree on a lot but it’s also a constant reminder of why art is great, because we see things in such different ways. And of course Rachael sees the project completely differently from both of us because of her perspective as a dancer and choreographer. Still, we get along great and we’ve completed three so far, all of which have been a lot of fun to shoot, edit, and get feedback on from our professors. My favorite was one we did in the elevator/stairwell of my apartment building with a male and female dancer. Diana is one of the full-time bloggers for HopkinsCinemAddicts (I wrote three entries this year, two of which have been posted – here and here) so I’m going to link to an entry in her production journal where she talked about this project. I think she did a great job capturing how we felt about the project!

Unlike high school, you choose most of the courses you take in college, so each one has its personally fulfilling aspects just based on the fact that you wanted to take it on the first place. But it’s a really special thing when you feel incredibly excited to go to class every day, when you’re constantly jotting down ideas about what to write about/film next, when you’re really inspired and just itching to try new things to see how they work. It’s classes like these that remind me exactly why I chose to be a Writing Seminars/Film and Media Studies double major in the first place. Beyond simply enjoying writing and film (and beyond being better at those things than I ever was at math or science), I do it because it pushes me every day to do something a little different. You can’t write the same story for every assignment, just as you can’t keep filming in the same location for each project. You have to think, adjust, create. It’s a neat feeling to be able to make something out of nothing: we can craft fictional relationships, dramatic problems, or whole universes apart from our own. And when it’s actually entertaining to people other than yourself? Well, then that’s the best part of all.

ginger fizz

“You never seem to give yourself away completely, but of course dark-haired people are so mysterious.” – Lucien Carr

I have been a brunette for twenty years. Forgetting about the several months when I was borderline bald as a newborn and the unfortunate choices to cut my hair short in 2nd and 8th grade, my hair has also always been long. These two attributes have, somehow, always defined who I am and that quote up there {which I pulled from a book of published letters between Allen Ginsburg and Jack Kerouac}, as much as I hated to admit it, rang fairly true for me. All girls like feeling a little mysterious and I love my natural dark hair but, at the same time, it felt like it was too standard for me: it became so normal and expected that it was always holding something back. It was “me,” but “me” started to feel very, very simple.

And so, in August, I decided to throw that out the window. I still have long hair {because I believe short hair only looks good on people whose heads are the appropriate size and, if you know anything about me, you know that I think my head is rather large}, but the brown is no more. I went into the salon and demanded red hair: copper red with hints of gold and highlights of sass.

I felt a difference almost right away. At first, I felt like I was wearing a costume and tended to act like a much more animated version of myself. That wore away, but what remained was this new sense of place: to reference the quote, I knew there was more to me and I wanted to give it all away. I figured out I could be mysterious and still live intensely. I had a right to talk to you just as much as anyone else. I had a right to say what I thought, to do what I wanted. I had a right to laugh and smile just as wide as I wanted to, whether or not I felt like a goof for doing so. I’m not sure why it took a lightening of my hair to brighten up my outlook in that department, but I’m glad I did it. I feel lighter; I feel more creative and less judgmental. It’s like all my best qualities came to the surface and the dark ones fell away.

So now I’ll ask the question you all have to be asking too: This pertains to Hopkins how…? In truth, on the surface it doesn’t. This is a selfish post, just as dyeing my hair is an inherently selfish decision. But these life decisions that change the things you like and dislike, and the way you talk and the way you feel about the world, that even have the power to change your very value system and idea of yourself as a person… they’re what college is all about. Every day, I kick myself for waiting until the first semester of senior year to feel this way. To be honest, I was never the most motivated student you’d ever meet, but it took three years and a hair makeover for me to realize that college isn’t about getting A’s on every assignment. It’s not about how many hours you log studying. It’s not about having every single page of reading done for discussion. My professors would hate me for saying so, but it’s not. Now, as I sit here and the days are ticking away, I realize it’s not about any of that. It’s about pushing your limits and trying new things, whether you’re ready for them or not. It’s about making your own red hair attitude happen – complaining infinitely less, taking as many risks as possible, and giving 100% of yourself away to learn, experience, and grow more. I’m so grateful that I discovered this while I still had time.

At the moment, there is nothing I love more than standing out on campus at sunset with the wind blowing in my hair. In film, we call the last hour of sunlight of the day “magic hour” – just as the sun starts to set, it bathes everything in red and gold and, for a fleeting amount of time, the world looks intensely romantic. I look around to the brick buildings and feel the sun on my face, in the breeze, in between the strands of my now-magic hair. I anticipate meeting up with my friends for dinner or a campus event, depending on the day – and I feel perfect. I know I’m not, and I know my college experience isn’t either. But I feel like I am doing exactly what I should be doing and I take comfort in the fact that I go to bed every night knowing that I didn’t waste a single moment of my day. It’s hard to believe a simple change of hair color could do this for me – but I’m grateful every day that it did.

saved by the bell tower

It’s that time of year again!  Somehow, even though we’re almost a month into classes, it’s still hard to believe I’m a senior going through the daily motions of my last fall semester ever on the Homewood campus. It definitely makes me stop and take everything in a little more carefully: the way the leaves look on the red brick paths, the sound of the Gilman bell ringing in the tower, the look on my professors’ faces as they’re deciding how they want to phrase what they’re going to say next, down to the way my friends arms feel slung around my shoulders or the happy feeling I get when my phone vibrates with a text from one of them. All of these little things…I feel like I need to savor them now. Which is probably why, even though I’m taking 6 classes, I’m trying very hard to pretend I’m not taking any. That’s not to say I’m not doing work or I’m slacking off {it’s quite the opposite – I always have something I should be doing!}, but I’m pushing myself to spend my free time with people, out and about, not lounging around wasting time in my apartment. My apartment is another thing I’ll miss when senior year is over, but not nearly as much as my friends and the places around campus we’ve come to claim as our own.

Anyway, before I get too sentimental {another time}, I’ll get back to the real point of this blog…my classes! As I said, I’m taking 6 this semester. As an Arts and Sciences student, you tend to see your peers taking anywhere from 4-6 classes each semester – 5 classes is the norm and what I’ve taken every semester up until now. Let’s get going!

Introduction to Bioethics – Hilary Bok

One of the greatest parts about the Hopkins academic experience is our lack of core curriculum – meaning, you don’t have to take a certain math course, history course, writing course, and so on in order to graduate. You do, however, have requirements within your major that are designed to make you more well-rounded and well-educated. In the Writing Seminars, you have to take 2 semester of Philosophy. Back when I was a sophomore, I took Introduction to Greek Philosophy. I didn’t love it and I didn’t hate it… I found it interesting and did relatively well by the end of the term, but philosophy itself has never been something I understood or could get lost in. I decided to do something different this semester and take Bioethics, a large lecture class geared around philosophic issues in the medical/biological realm. We’ve talked about abortion, euthanasia, the right to withhold information, and principles of happiness so far. I can’t say I’m really loving it, but I’m not hating it either…it’s one of those things where the requirement has to be done!

Introduction to Dramatic Writing: Plays – Marc Lapadula

To give you an idea of how fun this class has been so far, I’ll describe my professor. Marc Lapadula is clearly a performer. Think of an American Colin Firth {I thought of him on the first day, anyway}, who loves reading dramatic monologues and pieces of punchy dialogue aloud in his British accent. He is tall, with curly hair and glasses, and every single day he makes a  big deal out of the fact that we were given the smallest, cramped classroom in all of Gilman Hall for our workshop. He teaches at JHU and also at Yale…and he lives in Philadelphia. He pokes fun at us and at himself every class, which makes him both someone that you want to please but also someone that you know you can get creative with. And creatively, the class is great: I’ve never studied plays or wrote them in the past (save for learning acting techniques from John Astin in Contemporary Theatre and Film), and on top of that I never felt confident that I could do so successfuly. But after reading plenty of examples and having round-table discussions in class, I feel so inspired and actually excited to set things down on the page. It’s exactly what I had hoped for.

Italian Elements I – Teodoro Katinis

I had always said I wanted to study tons and tons of languages. I studied French for almost 7 years, Latin for 4 years, and English my whole life, but I always felt something was missing. I’m still craving a class on Russian {which is offered at Hopkins but never could fit into my schedule properly}, but I felt like senior year was the perfect time to delve into a language I had always had on my list: Italian. I’m taking it with 3 other Alpha Phis and, to be honest, we were all a little nervous the first week of class. Not intimidated though…we were nervous because we didn’t feel like we were learning a single thing. Our teacher would talk in Italian, recite us words like “spaghetti” and “gondola,” while we were watching the clock and waiting for 11:50 to roll around. Looking back, I find it funny: it goes to show you that we had completely forgotten what it’s like to start up a language from scratch. Now, we’re comfortable with the sound of Italian and on to memorizing vocabulary and learning grammar rules and even writing compositions in Italian. It isn’t easy and we can’t speak it beyond very simple sentences on certain specific topics yet, but I adore learning it. The accent alone is still magical to me!

Dance for the Camera – John and Susan Mann

One of my favorite things about taking a new class each semester is meeting all the new people in it. For this class, the Hopkins students aren’t new: they’re two other senior Film majors that I know pretty well. But from this class, I did get to meet two dance students at Towson University and Susan Mann, wife of Film and Media Studies professor John Mann and dance instructor at Towson. The class is really remarkable: a film student is paired with a dance student whom they’ve never met before, then have to create a dance for the camera project. It’s a challenge on both ends. The dancer has to choreograph a dance in a whole new way, because it will never be seen on the proscenium stage; the filmmaker has to use camera and editing techniques to enhance the dance, to capture the movement in the most interesting way, to say something new or to stay true to the choreography. I expected it to be a back-and-forth struggle between dancer and director…but it’s actually been a lot of fun. My partner, Rachael, comes into each project the way I tend to approach filmmaking as well: open-minded, excited to stumble across interesting ideas and fun angles, putting “enjoying the process” first over producing precisely what we had planned. It’s making me realize there is so much more film to be made besides the typical narrative and abstract pieces we have come to know well – there are so many other ways to use film and video to capture beauty and movement.

The Actor in Hollywood – Linda DeLibero

As I already mentioned, I took Contemporary Theatre and Film a couple years ago with John Astin. In this class, I feel like I’m combining a lot of what I learned not only in that course, but also in Introduction to the Study of Film, Theorizing Popular Culture, and even in my own “research” as a film fan. I’m taking all of these tidbits of information and seeing film in a whole new way: through the lens of the actor and the performance, of what’s actually being done on screen to get us to feel and understand. It’s also, somehow, my very first class with my faculty advisor, Linda, which I was excited about all summer! I think each professor in the film department sees life and film in a very different way, so having the opportunity to take a class with every one of them is a really precious luxury. We get a lot of reading each week {some of it more dense and dry than others, unfortunately}, but we balance that with amazing movies {Stagecoach, The Philadelphia Story} and being able to focus our time on four of the most iconic screen actors ever: Marlon Brando, John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart and Jack Nicholson. It’s one of those classes where you have to pinch yourself to remind yourself that yes, you actually are getting credit for being able to do something this fun.

Advanced Fiction Workshop – Jean McGarry

As if I wasn’t already running from the fact that I’m a senior, I’m enrolled in the pinnacle of what is my writing career at Hopkins: the advanced fiction workshop. It’s the 400 level class in a boardroom-like classroom in Gilman Hall where we sit, read examples of Chekhov, then pass around our work and have it critiqued. By this point, I don’t get nervous when I have my writing read by my peers, nor offended when I have my writing panned by them. I do, still, get completely thrilled – tingly, warm, smiley, as if I could feel my ego getting bigger – when they praise it, which is I think why I keep coming back. But the class is a requirement in order to graduate, so I figured now would be as good a time as any to finish it up. I’ve been filling my idea notebook with some really interesting things since I started this class, so I get excited to see my name on the list of “authors” Professor McGarry passes out with our reading assignment each week. This means that I’ll be responsible for sending out a story {the only guideline is typically about how long we should aim for it to be} by Sunday of that week, which we will then workshop on Wednesday.

I’ll bookend my descriptions with another photo:

And that’s it! The funny thing is that I would take four more classes if I had the time. There is just so much to do here, so much knowledge and experience up for grabs. I would need an entire extra year to fit everything in! I’m focusing on enjoying what I’m doing in the moment though; not thinking about all that extra stuff. And what I’m doing in the moment right now is getting better after a bout with strep throat, enjoying the first week of finally being 21 years old, and having a blast at my first Alpha Phi date party of the school year on Tuesday. I’ll be back soon with photos from that and more on my senior year at Hopkins! Til then… wish you were here!