The Lucie Show

This was Halloween! I wasn't lying when I said I'm not a sports guru

The first week of second semester can be a tough time for any college student.  ”Vacation over, tan fading,” as my dad puts it.  While it was quite the struggle getting back into the swing of things, one of my professors in particular helped to ease that transition.  My Opinion Writing course, taught by Professor Gregory Kane, had already–after one week–come to be my favorite class at Hopkins.  Now, it’s important for me to note that this class only meets once a week.  Therefore, it would be more fitting for me to say, “My Opinion Writing course, taught by Professor Gregory Kane, had already–after two hours–come to be my favorite class at Hopkins.”

This week’s assignment was focused on the Super Bowl. Since I’m not much of a sports guru, I turned to the halftime show for my opinion paper.  Hopkins is rumored to be one of the most cut-throat and intense universities in the world.  While a lot of the work here is extremely challenging, nobody said Hopkins students can’t have fun in class.  Read my Opinion Writing paper below to see one example of my fun and engaging Hopkins homework assignments.

P.S. If you are a big Madonna fan, I would stop here.

P.P.S. If you haven’t yet gathered it from this blog’s title, I am about to “bash” the Super Bowl halftime show.  I am not referring to the “bash” that is synonymous with “party.”

JHU_Lucie’s Super Bowl Halftime Show paper

Madonna’s “Frozen” performance at the 2012 Super Bowl has certainly been “Causing a Commotion.”  “4 Minutes” into the act I was already screaming, “Rescue Me” and thinking, “I’m Going Bananas.” For a moment, just “Like a Prayer,” the “Music” stopped, but “Sooner or Later” the “Voices” returned.  It was “Me Against the Music.”  “I’m So Stupid” for thinking that this “Material Girl” would be able to “Keep it Together” on stage. I understand that “Nobody’s Perfect.” “I Know It.” But “Like It or Not,” this “Bad Girl” gave almost “Everybody” a “Fever” with her “Borderline” awful performance.

I can’t say I’m a football fan.  To be completely honest, the sport confuses me.  What was with the butt-backwards touchdown?  I had never before heard New York Giants fans moan and groan in such a manner when their beloved team earned 6 points!  My friend tried to explain it to me, but his words went right over my head.  Why, then, was I watching the Super Bowl?  If you’ve already read my autobiography, you’ll probably know the answer—for the performance, of course!

Anything on stage can instantly catch my attention.  I love glittering, giant (no pun intended), gaudy displays, and was more than excited for the Super Bowl halftime show.  While I did get that glittering, giant, gaudy display that I was hoping for, I walked away from the spectacle thinking…what?  My reaction was, apparently, quite standard.  CNN.com reported that, within 90 minutes of the halftime show, over 6,000 tweets combined the words “Madonna” and “WTF.”

What threw me off first and foremost was the theme’s inconsistency.  Was I supposed to be thinking Egyptian Viking, cheerleading squad, presidential elections, circus acrobats, church choir, or hooker heels?  I wanted and tried to latch on to just one, but it seems the halftime show producers were firmly set on creating the never-before-seen amalgamation of the world’s worst themes.

Madonna is considered to be the “Queen of Pop”—is she not?  She’s not Miley Cyrus or another one of today’s teenage pop stars that are virtually known for their tight, revealing, and inappropriate performance attire.  I’m not saying I support those clothing decisions, but I definitely understand the reasoning behind them; it has been scientifically proven that the human body is at its finest just before the age of 20, at which point people may notice the beginning signs of aging.  In other words, Miley Cyrus can “pull it off.” It would have been nice and appropriate to see the 54-year-old woman in something—gee, I don’t know—appropriate for a woman her age.

Now, I’m not making a blow at Madonna’s body or saying that she didn’t look good—in fact, I think she “pulled it off” quite well.  What scares me is the message that her tight leather mini skirt and fishnet stockings sent to children across the country.  Younger pop stars have already corrupted the minds of so many adolescents.  Many teenagers, for example, think it’s appropriate to wear belly shirts and short shorts to school.  It’s times like these when the younger generations need the older ones most!  Teenagers need to know that it is not ok to wear belly shirts and short shorts to school.  And if their mindsets can’t be altered, adults must at least try to set a different example for them.  Children need to know that, as they grow older, they must drop the current habits that they’re adopting from young stars.

I hate to comment on Madonna’s age, because it’s really wonderful that she’s still able to move like that in her mid-50s, but come on! Enough is enough!  There’s a certain point when pop stars must take their final bow and accept that their time in the spotlight has come to an end.  If they really insist on continuing—like Madonna does—they should at least tone it down a notch.  No cheerleading, no seductive floor humping, and absolutely no stripper boots.

What was the deal with her boots, anyway?  I’m sure we all know the famous phrase, “Those boots were made for walking.”  I’d argue that those boots were not made for walking, let alone for gallivanting across the stage while thrusting your pelvis violently.  She tripped—but I’m sure I didn’t have to tell you that.  About 95% of the people that I surveyed told me they rewound their TVs just to watch Madonna trip one more time.  It’s not that Americans are mean-spirited—it’s simply hard not to ridicule a 54 year-old who blatantly believes she’s 17 again.

“In This Life,” it “Has To Be” hard to be “Back in Business” as a 54-year-old.  It “Ain’t No Big Deal,” however, for Madonna to just “Take a Bow” and feel that retired pop star “Freedom.”  It’s “Amazing” that Madonna once thought “Nothing Fails”—“Hey, You,” “Don’t Tell Me” that.  The Super Bowl 2012 halftime show will give everybody “Something to Remember.”

Pretending to be sports gurus...

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