Simply Serendipitous

I remember back in middle school when we had our first “relationships” and “break-ups,” girls started posting this on their AIM profiles or away messages: “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”  As a pre-teen sobbing over an online break-up, this seems like the single most sage piece of advice ever given.  As I got a bit older and would see this pop up in places, I rolled my eyes (partly because of its association with silly middle school antics, but also because it just sounds melodramatic).

However, every time I found myself at some sort of crossroads or goodbye, this stupid little saying popped into my head.  No matter how annoying I find it to be, it is cliché for a reason – because it’s true in a sense.  Now, I’m not going to say that this is something to live by, because it’s obviously not.  The countless times over the past few weeks (and right now) that I found myself on the brink of sadness over the upcoming goodbyes – after trying my hardest to keep it under control and failing miserably every time – I just let it happen.   Yes, I’m sad, but it’s because I’ve had the most wonderful four years that positively flew by.

I’ve done a lot of things to prepare for writing this entry: procrastinated, looked through old pictures, re-read my first blog entry, cried a little bit more, and started several drafts.  Perhaps the biggest one was participating in commencement – though I finished my studies and had my degree conferred in December, I wanted to be there with the classmates I met during freshman orientation (some of whom I hadn’t seen since) and hoped to get a feeling of closure.  However, as I sit here now, forcing myself to get through this most-bittersweet task, I’m feeling like that sought-after sense of closure is going to be more of an ongoing process.  (Translation: I’m crying again).

And so, dearest readers, I’m going to use you – one last time – in a way I so often have over these last four years: to put my thoughts into words and share them with the world in hopes that it will bring closure.  To be clear, it’s not that I’m looking to put my Johns Hopkins memories into some little mental box and store it away forever (although, physically, I will have a Johns Hopkins box with some of my trinkets from over the years).  My relationship with Johns Hopkins – the university and the people – will not be over just because I leave Baltimore and move on to another university.

To put it briefly, my time at Johns Hopkins has been nothing short of amazing.  It has literally amazed me, both in the moment of each experience and now as I reflect back on them.  I never (ever) could have expected to graduate from Johns Hopkins as an entirely different person than I entered.  I think the best way to reflect on my experience is to thank those who have made it what it was.

And so, bear with me for one last list – this time, a thank you to:

My friends. Whether we met during orientation and didn’t speak after intersession of freshman year or we met later on and have been friends ever since, you are the obvious, and first, to whom I owe thanks.  To my small group of closest friends, my SAAB friends, my fellow-student-worker friends, my friends from class, my friends of other friends, my boyfriend, and everyone else in between – thank you for the fun, for thinking I’m the “mature one,” for humoring me with my experimental recipes, thank you for running errands with me, thank you for the advice, and thank you for whatever our relationship is.  I honestly believe that every single person I’ve met at Hopkins has affected me in some way or another.

My “co-workers.” I worked in Mason Hall for the past five-ish months as an intern, giving information sessions and helping with the regular decision application cycle.  Though I was just an intern, I felt like I was part of the “team” at Mason Hall.  Thank you to the admissions staff for such an incredible experience.  Thank you to Admissions_Shannon for forcing me out from behind the podium and thank you to Admissions_Daniel for making all of this happen.

My advisors and mentors. I’ve changed my mind a lot since starting as a pre-med freshman, and I’ve seen a lot of academic advisors.  Starting as a freshman, with my freshman advisor, then my chemistry advisor after declaring that major, then a pre-med advisor, then a public health advisor, then a pre-law advisor – there has been a lot of advising to get me to this point.  Thank you for putting up with my dead-set indecisiveness.  Outside of the advising programs, Dean Sheppard, Associate Dean of Student Life, served as a mentor to the Ethics Board and gave me the opportunity to chair the board – a heavy responsibility that has made me a more empathetic (and assertive) person.  And of course, Admissions_Daniel, before you were even my boss you told me about your experiences and encouraged me to make the most of the opportunities at Hopkins.  You also gave me the best closing line ever, and thank you for everything (again).  Thank you also to my aunt – you’re not at Hopkins, but you were there along the way for little notes and pick-me-ups throughout the whole experience, always an encouragement.

Mom and Dad. I wouldn’t have had any of these opportunities if not for your generosity and sacrifice.  Despite the heavy burden, you made my Johns Hopkins dreams into a reality and you are the reason I have that diploma on your wall at home.  You challenged me when I wanted to switch tracks completely, and then supported me when I promised it was for the best.  Thank you for everything you have done for me.

My readers. While most of you probably fall into one of the categories above, you deserve a special thank you.  If not for this blog, I wouldn’t have been so introspective throughout the past four years and wouldn’t have forced myself to put my often-jumbled thoughts into words.  Also, how cool is it that I have a “journal” of my college years? (Very cool).

Now that I’ve finished what could be an Oscar acceptance speech, I’m back to thinking about this idea of closure.  Maybe it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be.  As I said, I’m not looking to file away the memories – all I can really ask for is to be content with the experience I’ve had.  I’ve made plenty of mistakes (such as taking Microeconomics in the first place and then not opting for the S/U option) and it’s easy to wish I had spent just a few more hours studying in hopes of a slightly higher grade (I graduated without ever pulling an all-nighter).  It’s easy to regret not taking advantage of even more opportunities – maybe I should’ve stuck with that ballet class, run for student government, or tried debate.  But, as I so often say, it is what it is.  My Johns Hopkins experience is just that – it’s mine.  And that, my dears, makes me content.

Johns Hopkins will always have a huge place in my life and I owe everything to this university for making me into who I’ve become.  Though it’s time to say goodbye, it certainly won’t be for long.  I will remember fondly the four years I spent here and the people who have been a part of it.  Look out, law school; I’ve got some big expectations of you.

And now, we move on.

Much love,
Mandy

Campus feels a bit like no-man’s land right now.  The recent graduates (CONGRATULATIONS!) have pretty much all left and it seems like most people are either already starting summer jobs/internships or are getting a little vacation time before buckling down.  Summer school hasn’t started, either, and the campus is very quiet.  It certainly makes for a good environment to study for the LSAT (6 days and counting…), though I miss the typical atmosphere.

I should be perfectly honest though — in between finals and graduation, I did take some time to decompress and spend time with friends.  I even went to DC and got a picture in front of the Supreme Court! (I was SO excited to see it).

But it all comes down to this:  another year is over and I’m going into my last semester as an undergraduate.  It’s surreal.  Before I get too far ahead of myself, it’s been quite a year and it’s worth looking back.  So, my grades weren’t phenomenal, I never found a summer internship, and the past several months have been very hectic while trying to stay on top of my regular classes, work schedule, and LSAT preparation.  It was still a great year (really!).

And so it goes:

not quite ready yet.  [September 7, 2009]
The beginning of the fall semester is always a fun time, regardless of your year—I was struggling to switch from my summertime brain back to my schooltime brain (but can tell you now that I eventually made it).

junior year, again? [September 18, 2009]
Thinking back to my junior year of high school and all of the challenges it brought made me realize that my junior year in college was likely to be a transitional year, too.  This academic year brought a lot of changes to my day-to-day life, and learning to fit it all in was a big (albeit fun) challenge.

classes, v. 5.0 [October 3, 2009]
My fifth semester at Hopkins brought some great classes.  They were all very challenging in different ways.  Some were very rewarding, while others were not as pleasant for me (ahem—BIOSTATS).  But I enjoyed them on a whole and learned a lot of random information.

my own fall break. [October 11, 2009]
A scheduling oversight left us without our traditional three-day weekend in mid-October, commonly known as fall break.  However, at this point in the semester, I was feeling a little bogged down and decided to use my Friday without classes to have my own fall break.

and we’re back. [November 1, 2009]
I started feeling the busy schedule I had set for myself and kind of let my non-academic life get a little out of order.  In November I brought it back to where I want it (you know, actually buying groceries and cleaning my apartment).

the critical juncture. [November 4, 2009]
Taking so many policy classes was quite a challenge but very rewarding.  The critical juncture was a subject touched on in all of them, in varying contexts, and it was sitting in my mind when I wrote this blog about my path and decisions.

the academics: post-natural sciences.  [November 15, 2009]
In this blog entry, I talked more about my classes, but instead of just an overview, I wanted to describe what kinds of things I was learning.  It was particularly intriguing to me since I had been such a hardcore natural science student fairly recently.

not working.  [November 22, 2009]
I have weird studying habits (that I’m still working on) and at this point in the year, when I wasn’t able to be productive anymore, I’d stop trying and go do something else.  This worked reasonably well, as long as I managed to have enough productive phases mixed in.  I also tell you about the things I do when I’m not being productive.

holiday spirit.  [December 10, 2009]
November through December is my favorite time of the year because I absolutely love the holidays.  College has made my traditions slightly different, but I’ve brought some of them up to Baltimore with me and have discovered new ones to adapt to the different lifestyle.

five down, two to go.  [December 18, 2009]
With two semesters left in my undergraduate education, I’ve learned a lot about things I’ve studied and life in general (that’s way less deep than it might sound).  For instance, “baked goods are a great way to make friends.”

here’s to the future.  [December 26, 2009]
I realized that the year 2010 will be huge for me – a new year/decade, my 21^st birthday, the LSAT, an internship (oops, that didn’t happen), applying to law school, graduate classes at the School of Public Health—big changes and lots of exciting things!

undergraduate academic ethics board.  [January 22, 2010]
Each blogger wrote an entry about an activity with which they were involved and I wrote about the ethics board, more generally, and a little about my own experience with it.  It’s a challenging position to be in, but one that has been very meaningful to me.

intersession: 2010 edition. [January 24, 2010]
During intersession, I took a class on International Development and Policy, which consisted of two weeks of in-class presentations by JHU alumni in the field, then a trip to New York City to visit more alumni and hear about their careers and areas of expertise.  It was my first trip to New York and I absolutely fell in love with the city.

i (heart) winter.  [February 17, 2010]
The beginning of the spring semester brought my 21^st birthday – on the first day of classes – and then TWO blizzards that dropped record amounts of snow on Baltimore and gave us a week off (now known as “snow week”).  I had a ton of fun and it was more than a little difficult to get back to real life after just turning 21 and having a week off to play in the snow.

classes, v. 6.0.  [February 22, 2010]
I continued with my non-natural sciences path and took classes that just sounded interesting to me, resulting in a ton of reading.  I also decided to take Micro on a whim because I wanted another class and thought this would be useful (in retrospect, BIG MISTAKE).  But I learned that I’m not the type to take the path of least resistance (see: American Literature to 1865 as a means to fill an English requirement—there are definitely easier options that I should have taken).  It doesn’t always bode well in terms of the numbers, but I enjoy the challenge and exposure that I wouldn’t otherwise get.

an insight into the soul.  [March 5, 2010]
I’m serious about my coffee.  This is a handy little guide that can be used to gauge my state of mind based solely on the coffee that’s most likely in my hand at any given moment.

mandy does spring break.  [March 15, 2010]
I took my first spring break vacation with friends this year and it was an amazing time.  I wrote this blog from our hotel room in Key West, where, as it turns out, the minimum age for guests was 25 and our room was only supposed to have 2 people (we had 5).  It didn’t bother us though, and we managed to not get kicked out (definite plus) and had a fantastic time all over South Florida.

springtime in the neighborhood.  [March 22, 2010]
Baltimore wasn’t quite as lovely as Florida, but by the time we returned from spring break, the weather was very nice.  I wrote about my favorite places within walking distance of the campus in honor of the weather being perfectly suited to walking around the neighborhood.

hopkins cribs: off-campus apartment.  [March 29, 2010]
I lived off-campus this year (though in between Wolman Hall and Charles Commons—so not really all that “off” campus) in an apartment by myself.  It was a great experience to get used to paying bills, cooking meals, and I really enjoyed having my own place.

on being pre-law at hopkins.  [April 4, 2010]
As someone who came to Hopkins to be pre-med, has had three different majors, and finally settled into being pre-law, I feel almost obligated to talk about the differences between the two advising tracks (pre-med and pre-law, that is).  I love being pre-law, even though, as you’ll see, it amounts to little more than just being someone who wants to apply to law school.

hopkins intensity.  [April 17, 2010]
During the spring open houses, I talked to a lot of students and families and one of the common concerns was the intensity of a Hopkins education.  Here, I tried to collect my thoughts and write them down, describing my personal experience and opinion on the matter.

the most wonderful time of the year.  [April 26, 2010]
The end of the spring semester is SO MUCH FUN.  Spring fair, friends’ birthdays (at least for me), formals, and homecoming are just a few of the highlights.  In this entry, I decided to show rather than tell with a  few of my pictures from the festivities.

why i shouldn’t be blogging.  [May 3, 2010]
The end of the semester is always hectic, and this one was particularly so given the changes due to snow week back in February.  During a gchat conversation with Jessica, we discussed how we both had blogs to write and no time to do it or, for me, nothing interesting to talk about.  The result?  This blog.

to-do: summer edition.  [May 10, 2010]
In the midst of the craziness of finals and papers, etc., I decided to take a breather and think about all the things I want to do this summer.  It was my way of looking past all of the work I had to the fun things I could do once I finished.

switching gears.  [May 18, 2010]
Finals are over, which for many people means it’s time to kick back or get right to summer plans.  For me, however, it’s time to switch my focus to nothing-but-LSAT prep.  The test is rapidly approaching!  I can’t wait for it to be over (although, I wonder what I’ll do with my spare time—I’ll miss the logic games!).

Stay tuned for summer updates as my plans unfold–particularly after I get through next Monday’s silly little standardized test (please note the sarcasm).  Happy summer!