The Hoplimpics

By Nick G.

Aug

15

Now that all the hype over the 2012 Olympics are over and we can finally focus all of the worlds TV excitement towards some quality apex ocean predator themed programming, I hope that this blog post doesn’t seem too late in the worlds events, but hopefully you can all think back to last week and pretend the Olympics are still happening.

So, in Olympic fashion, I’ve decided to hold my own Hopkins themed games. There are no athletes, rather, there are various aspects of Hopkins. Instead of competing in sports, they will compete in quality added to the school. Instead of judges, it will basically just be my opinion. So, what are the events? Various Hopkins components will compete in: best dorm, best dining hall, best off campus restaurant, and best study spots. Let the games begin!

Best (Freshman) Dorm

The AMR's in the winter, clearly prettier than Wolman

Gold: As much as it truly pains me to admit it, I am going to have to go with Wolman for this one. If this were the non existent 2011 Hoplimpic games, I’d give it to the AMR’s, but with the new renovations Wolman got this year, I think it pulled ahead for the lead. What could beat the trifecta of air conditioning, a movie theater, and a gym that I would probably never use anyway?

Silver: AMR’s will go home with a sparkly silver, as a little piece of my heart will always lie in Willard house. Wolman may have all kinds of awesome features, but what it comes down to is that not having to clean my own bathroom is a major plus. That, and being right next to the FFC made getting my eat on super easy.

Bronze: I mean really, how could we give a gold or silver to a building that doesn’t even have a real name? Buildings A and B will take the bronze. They’re rather quiet for my taste, but I’m sure there are tons of people out there who like that, and being next to the AMR’s/FFC/Rec Center is also a plus.

Best Dining Hall

Gold: Charmar will get the gold here, which, coincidentally, is the same color as the cheddar cheese they put on their sandwiches. The variety (sushi, subs, paninis, salads, hot dogs, and a whole lot in between) gives Charmar the edge here, although you can’t use meal points (other than meals in a minute, but that’s like fake Charmar so it doesn’t really matter). You can also get beef jerky and queso dip, which is an awesome combination.

Silver: Like the AMR’s, the FFC will always have a special spot in my heart. That spot just happens to be a clog in my arteries. The pros of the FFC lie in its convenience and proximity to basically everything, as well as the reasonably impressive variety it offers, although sometimes it does get kind of boring.

Bronze: Levering Hall, although to be honest I don’t have much experience going there. It’s not that I’ve ever been disappointed, more that it both doesn’t take meal swipes (which I always seemed to have an abundance of) and is kind of out of the way compared to where I usually am around lunch time. Bronze medal for you, Levering!

Best Off-Campus Restaurant

Gold: This shouldn’t come as any surprise to anyone who knows me, but the gold goes to Chipotle. It’s just such a classic, like the 1992 “Dream Team”, but with Bugs Bunny and Bill Murray on it too, sort of a quantum “Space Jam meets Olympics And Michael Jordan Is On Both Teams” type deal. Totally gets the gold, no question.

Silver: A Hopkins must-dine-at, Tambers is the kind of place that you’ll run into someone that you know almost every time you go there. The menu is overwhelming–there really isn’t much that they won’t serve, and all at very reasonable prices so you can have plenty left over for more food.

Bronze: For some reason, I feel like Ajumma is the kind of place where you either know about it and love it or have never even acknowledged that it exists. Known for its bulgogie (honestly, I have zero idea how to spell that, and my spell check doesn’t offer any help, and I don’t feel like Googling it), Ajumma is always a quality meal.

Best Study Spots

The Brody Learning Commons under construction

Gold: Not going to lie, I haven’t even been there, but the newly opened Brody Learning Commons looks sick. When my Facebook feed is blowing up from people talking about how cool it is when they went the first time, I’m actually excited to get to see the completed project in a few weeks.

Silver: There are few study spots at any school where looking up has the same awing look as the upward view in the Gilman Atrium. The newly renovated area is a work of art in and of itself, plus you are basically studying on top of a mummy, which is kind of cool in a creepy way.

Bronze: You can’t really have a study spot medal ceremony without mentioning the library. That’s like having a sprinting event and not having Bolt win everything. With a level for each type of study personality, we couldn’t let the MSE Library go home without something to put on the mantle next to pictures of mom and dad.

Well, there you have it, consider this the closing ceremony of the Hoplimpic games. I’d write more, but my friend from Baltimore, Michael, wanted a swim lesson so I’m going to go show him a thing or two.

Thanks for reading and thanks to my friend Paige for the blog inspiration!

-Nick

Current track: Ummmm…..who listens to music during Shark Week?

 

Tron

By Nick G.

Dec

26

If there is one past time I truly enjoy, it is coming up with ridiculous comparisons between two things that have absolutely nothing in common at first glance, but when you investigate further you can actually find some pretty cool parallels. So, given that I spent my Christmas seeing Tron (shout out to any fellow Hebrews out there), here are some similarities between Hopkins and Tron.

1. 3-D.  Unlike many other universities, Hopkins is entirely in 3-D, just like Tron.  The buildings, students, even the lacrosse players are all fully three dimensional, almost like you can reach out and touch them.  Cornell’s claim to fame may be their gorges, but how can you truly appreciate a gorge when it is in old-fashioned 2-D? James Cameron would not approve.

The beach, Tron style. Time taken to photoshop: About 3 minutes.

2. The people are pretty smart.  In order to make a digital version of yourself to go inside the computer and create a digital society within it, you have to have some intelligence.  And at Hopkins, everyone is pretty smart.  What a perfect comparison.  We all are trying to break through to new frontiers.  Just like Kevin Flynn in Tron, Hopkins students are ambitious and always trying to put themselves into the pinnacle of intellectual innovation.

3. The technology.  Tron featured some pretty sweet technology, and Hopkins has its fair share of cool stuff as well.  Take, for example, the security system.  Around 200 cameras cover almost every point on campus, many of which are infrared, so you can feel comfortable walking anywhere at any time.  But wait…there’s more.  The Hopkins cameras can actually pick up on sketchy motion, so even if a guard isn’t monitoring that particular camera at the time, the system will alert them that something potentially bad is happening in that area.  And, should they need to take action, the security vehicles are actually light cycles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Light_Cycle#Light_cycles). Pretty cool, huh?

Johns Hopkins on his Ducati. Time taken to Photoshop: I didn't photoshop it, this is a real image.

4. Daft Punk.  In Tron, Daft Punk actually make a cameo appearance as techno DJ’s in the computer world.  Believe it or not, for those more interested in the party scene, it is certainly available. Those interested in Raves can go a short cab ride away to find them (I’ve yet to go, but several friends have given rave reviews about them. Pun totally intended).  Contrary to what people often believe, there is a party scene on campus, but it is by no means overwhelming.  What I mean is that while the option exists, those that choose not to part take are not social outcasts and can maintain a solid social life without the party scene.

5. Ducatis. Everyone at Hopkins gets a Ducati, just like the guy in Tron had. But the new model, you know, the one that goes like 230 mph, like Vince bought for everyone in that episode of Entourage.  When you arrive on campus on move in day, there will be a Ducati waiting in your room just for you. As Johns Hopkins once said “This bike is insane, I just outran half of the Baltimore City Police Department without even getting out of third gear.”

Thanks for reading!

-Nick

Current track: Remember the Name by Fort Minor

Number 1 in Number 2

By Nick G.

Oct

31

When looking at schools, there are several very important things to consider. How is the food? The social life? Are they any good at sports? How challenging are the courses?  But there is always one thing that is overlooked.  In fact, its shocking that this is so under considered when evaluating a school.  Its something EVERY student experiences all the time, every day, without exception, and thus should at least be a small consideration in choosing schools.

Ladies and gentleman, nature calls. And when it does, we have to answer.  It is for this reason that I have traveled around campus, evaluating one of the many things which makes Hopkins so great: our superior restroom quality.

For legal purposes, the only bathrooms analyzed were men’s rooms.

AMr 1 Third Floor, Willard House

AMR 1 Willard: The bathroom on the 3rd floor of AMR 1 is very dear to me, in that it is so incredibly convenient.  A mere three doors away from my dorm room, its the perfect choice for all needs, including showering and brushing my teeth.  The best part: I don’t even need to put pants on to go, as my hall is pretty chill about walking to and from the bathroom in one’s boxers.  This bathroom features three of everything, three showers, three stalls, and three sinks.  The one problem? No urinals.  I’m all for conserving water when possible, but unfortunately, this bathroom is severely limiting in that respect.  Never the less, I love this bathroom mainly for the convenience-factor.

MSE A-Level

A-Level: Continuing with the convenience theme, we have the A-Level bathroom.  The MSE Library has all of its bathrooms arranged pretty much the same, no matter the level, so I’m using the one on A as a representative of all levels.  The MSE bathrooms are on the small side, but they have all the necessities.  Considering the amount they are used (I’d say they are the most used lavatories on campus), they are surprisingly clean.  There are a few small graffiti drawings on the stalls, but they are a rarity and usually just someone who scribbled their name on the door.  Overall, I believe Milton S. Eisenhower would be happy to do his business in any level of the library.

The elegent wood-paneled entrance of the Krieger Hall bathroom

Krieger: The bathroom on the second floor of Krieger is one of the more interesting one’s I’ve explored here at Hopkins.  When one first enters, the frame around the entrance way is all wood paneled, giving the bathroom a very classic feel.  Like the MSE bathrooms, this one is also very simple but does not sacrifice functionality.  The lighting in here was also very interesting.  The room is well lit via these industrial looking lights, but although one may at first think its tacky, the choice of light fixture really brings the room together, especially when combined with the wood on the sides of the entrance.

The impressively large Gilman bathroom

Gilman: The lavatory on the third floor of Gilman is the largest I’ve seen at Hopkins, yet for some reason always seems to be empty.  No doubt, it is quite spacious and is well laid out, with a long row of sinks on the right for high capacity times.  The Gilman bathroom was also very clean.  You could tell that everything in there was brand new, adding to the clean feel.  When they renovated Gilman, they clearly did not neglect to redo the bathrooms.

The simply beautiful bathroom of Mason Hall

The simply beautiful bathroom of Mason Hall

Mason Hall:  If the first thing a visitor to Hopkins had to do was go to the loo, Mason Hall’s bathroom certainly would be a good introduction to Hopkin’s sanitation.  It has a nice layout, as well as a good looking tile floor.  It is on the small side, but I doubt it gets enough traffic to justify anything larger.  Also, in order to get to this bathroom, one must first go through a unisex hallway which splits at the end into men’s and women’s rooms with a water fountain in the middle, which makes the overall experience that much better.

The "Hidden Gem" of Hopkins bathrooms

AMR 1 Basement:  I like to think of this bathroom as the “Hidden Gem of Hopkins Water Closets”.  Why? Nobody ever uses it.  Really, the only reasons people go down to the AMR 1 basement are for laundry and perhaps to use the common kitchen.  Therefore, there really isn’t much of an immediate need for it like there is in the bathrooms in classroom buildings or the upper levels of the dorms.  However, the bathroom is still cleaned regularly and thus is insanely clean, almost to the point of perfection.  It also has a very unique layout in that it features dividers between the sinks so you can take your time in the mirror without the non-existent person next to you peeking over.  If you are ever in the area, the AMR 1 Basement bathroom is a guaranteed good choice.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed and learned something new.

-Nick

Current track: Roses by Outkast

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