Caught in Between

I am going to keep this message short. I had been planning for a couple of weeks to write a blog titled “Ode to TAs.” I wanted to include all the positive experiences I have had with TAs in my classes. However, I’m not going to. Why? Well, because I’ve decided to hibernate.

I came home for the first time since late August on Tuesday night. Immediately after I finished a response paper at 3 in the morning (it was my fault, I had procrastinated all day), I decided to hibernate. Why? Well, at first I thought it was absolutely insane that Christmas music was being played and that Christmas lights seemed to be on throughout New Jersey, but then realized that it was closer to December than I had realized. We ended up listening to Christmas music on the radio and it began to feel like we were driving up for winter break rather than just a long weekend. But reality hit when I opened up the December month-view in my planner and realized that it  would be the first day of December on Monday and it would be three tough weeks after that until I would be home for more than just a few days. Over the three month period before Thanksgiving I had became drained. On Wednesday morning I questioned how I could possibly get through December if I was already drained by school without the thought of finals. I brought back this huge bookbag of books and was looking at it with disgust. Although, I had planned that the way to get through December was to work hard  this weekend, I realized that the way for me personally to get through December was to mentally hibernate. What does this mean? Hibernation for me means relaxing. I have slept for over eight hours every day I have been here. I’ve adventured to the city with my boyfriend’s family to see the Macy’s Thanskgiving Day Parade balloons being blown up. I’ve gone shopping with my mom and to Starbucks with my friends. I’ve watched Gilmore Girls with my mom and WALL-E with my dad. And, I have gotten the little things that I was behind in out of the way–e-mailing contacts about research for the summer, posting on the message boards, creating next year’s class of 2013 Facebook group, etc. I need these little things out of the way if I’m to focus on an academically-loaded three weeks.

And, so, yes I told you that this blog would be short. But I hope that if you’re a prospective student you’re able to get something out of this. I’m one of those people who is known (and has always been known) to try to “do it all” aka overexert myself. However, no matter who you are, everyone needs a break sometimes. And I’m very thankful that I have this one.

Its funny how you wake up one day and all of a sudden, without having realized that time was passing so fast, you’re an upperclassmen. I’m not going to lie, sometimes I still feel like a freshman, and I certainly have that problem where when you hear that something happened in the 90s (like 1996) you count back from 2000 and think that wasn’t that long ago! it was only 4 years ago! but then realize no, it’s 2008, that was 12 years ago..wow.

But I think this is about the point where I should look back and figure out how I got here. I feel like I’m coming full circle here, now that I’m smack dab in the middle of the Medical School Application process it is bringing to the surface all the old standardized test anxiety, annoyance with multiple application processes, and overall uncertainty about the future with the discomfort that comes with knowing your future is in the hands of an admissions officer who is judging you solely by what you put (or forgot to put) on paper.

So looking back on the last 6 years, here are some things I’m glad I did, and wish I did during my college decision process – maybe I’ll learn from my mistakes for this next round of applications!

1) Do your homework. And by that I don’t mean just classroom homework (though by all means do that too!). I mean really understand the demographics of the schools you’re applying to and be realistic about your expectations for getting in. I fell into the “I want to go to an Ivy school or nothing” rut and wasn’t realistic about my grades or interests. I ended up getting rejected from schools where, in hindsight, I wouldn’t have been happy at or fit into. If I could do it all over again, I would have broadened my search, looked outside the “typical” schools and been more invested in finding universities with programs that interested me.

2) Be challenged. Inside and outside of the classroom, take chances. When you’re picking high school classes, why shy away from AP classes? If you’re at a public school, take advantage of the advanced courses your parents’ tax dollars are paying for, even if your school doesn’t offer that many. And if you’re at a private school, well, same argument applies but substitute “taxes” for “tuition.” That’s not to say go overboard and I’m definitely not saying if you don’t take all AP classes you won’t get into good schools. The great thing about those advanced classes is you get to learn at the accelerated and detailed level you will be expected to learn at in college, so you can see before you get here what kinds of classes interested you/ you’re good at. Personally, I couldn’t get enough of AP Biology, I loved everything about it and it helped me realized that I loved the sciences. AP Government, however, different story. I was terrible, awful, pathetic…lets just say AP Gov wasn’t my thing. But I’m glad I took it (and suffered through it) because it took me out of my comfort zone and I got to practice learning in a totally different style from Bio or Calculus. There isn’t a magic number of APs or advanced courses that will get you into college, but being well rounded and honing your skills and interests will help you grow as an academic.

3) That being said, there is no shame in regular classes. My high school didn’t offer that many AP courses, so if you didn’t take 8 APs in high school it’s not the end of the world and your chances at university are far from shot. What is important is that you take advantage of what you have available to you and succeed at the things that interest you. I was a pretty ridiculous elitist back in the day, but I didn’t want to take any kind of regular class because I thought it would “ruin” my GPA and I’d never get into college…but now I wish I had taken a music theory class, just for the general background knowledge.

4) Don’t do things for the sake of padding a resume. I’m not an admissions counselor so I’m not speaking professionally – just as a product of the system – but I have always made the conscious decision not to just join a club or go for a leadership position I didn’t actually care about. There is no prototypical student, and there is no certain group of clubs and honors you have to receive to get into college. Not everybody has to be in student government and president of 3 clubs. I’m a proponent of the “quality over quantity” school of thought, and pursuing causes you’re passionate about. I’ll be the first to admit: I used to hate volunteer work. Not that I don’t want to help others, but I hated feeling like I had to do volunteer, like not planting trees or participating in walks made me a bad person. I was never an active Red Cross member and I’ve never been part of a generic volunteer organization. Not that those aren’t great organizations that do fantastic work in improving their communities, they’re not just not my cup of tea. It means I have to work a little bit harder to find organizations and opportunities that interest me, but I promise, there is something out there for everyone. “To thine own self be true” I think would be the take home message here. As far as I’m concerned, my youth is far too short to be spent doing 800 things I’m not all that passionate about, I’d rather do 2 or 3 things and really do them right.

5) Don’t let other people make your decisions. Mom and Dad are great sources of advice and surely your friends will all have an opinion about where you should go, but at the end of the day this is your decision and you’ll be the one who has to live with it. I know it’s a terrifying concept to leave your home, especially your home state!, and go far away to a city/state you’ve never been in and don’t know anyone in, but don’t let fear influence your decision. I almost went to an in-state school because I didn’t know if I wanted to be so far away from my family, and if I wanted to start all over again making friends, but boy am I glad I did. But this argument doesn’t only work for in-state vs. out of state. It’s true for any institutions you’re looking at. Figure out which of the schools you got into is the best fit for you and your interests and aspirations, and no matter where it is go for it. After all, the point of college is to grow and flourish as an individual and hone your talents, so wherever that ends up being, sounds like a win to me. I wanted to be pre-med but I’m also interested in International Studies, so Hopkins was an immaculate fit, but if I had wanted to go into Mechanical Engineering and run Division 1 track, this probably wouldn’t fit me so well. Or if I wanted a really liberal atmosphere and student body size of 400, also probably not the best fit for me. It’s all about being a senior in high school, looking at a school, and asking yourself “4 years from now, can I see myself at this school?”

6) Rejections are not the end of the world. But it’s okay to feel like they are at the time! The whole process is rough, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t upset and totally indignant every time I got a rejection letter. Who do they think they are?! I would be an EXCELLENT addition to your humble establishment! They can’t possibly know what a mistake they’ve made. But in hindsight, maybe they did. I look back on the schools that rejected me and I don’t think I would have been very happy there. Not just academically, but my personality doesn’t seem right for them, so I guess I owe those admissions counselors a thank you letter or something. Truth be told, those rejection letters will hurt and if you’re anything like me, you’ll feel pretty worthless, but they are in no way a reflection on your merit as an individual. Getting a rejection letter doesn’t make you less of an accomplished individual, it just means the search for the perfect higher learning establishment must continue (hopefully I’ll be singing the same tune a year from now when I’m getting Medical school decision letters!)

Well…that’s something to chew on! I’m not an expert, but I am a happy, 3rd year student, so that has to say something right?

Hey!

I definitely agree with Roxi, I can’t believe how fast the semester has gone by. However, I have also been doing a lot, so I especially can’t believe that it has only been two weeks since my last post. I was able to successfully get through the work-loaded middle portion of my semester. Yes, of course, I have assignments due before finals, but nothing like what I just got through. Last weekend my mom visited me! She hadn’t seen my new room yet and we hadn’t seen each other since the end of August. It was great to see her and to go to the Walters Museum and the National Aquarium in Baltimore with her. Although, she was only here for eight hours, I loved not having the stress of due dates in the back of mind and just being able to leave campus and enjoy the weather.

At a Cafe my mother and I started talking about how many decisions are made in college. She was surprised that it was already time to pick my classes for next semester. Although, I would love to live in the present in college, it’s definitely not always possible to do that. College is a fast and forward-moving four years. Last week, I discussed with my academic adviser intersession, next semester’s courses, summer, study abroad, and my future. This put things into perspective for me. If all goes as planned, this coming spring will be my last Spring semester taking classes here. (I plan to study abroad next spring and to graduate a semester early). Of course, things may not go as planned…but it’s still nice to have a plan.

College is definitely a time to learn how to make choices. Once I decide my courses for next semester, I’m going to decide my courses for intersession, meet with the study abroad office to look and discuss study abroad options, and during intersession I will have to begin internship and research applications for the summer. Yes, this can be a stressful amount of decisions, but it definitely helps me. I’ve realized that these are not life or death choices. If I register for a course next semester that I don’t like, I will still be able to push myself through it or switch out of it. However, in high school I didn’t have these decisions to make. I didn’t really have to think about my interests and strengths, my schedule was nearly planned out for me. Now I have to decide what is right for me. Learning how to make choices is definitely an important part of life. And although I may never need to know some of the information I learn this year, I will definitely need to know how to make choices that are right for me.

After college I probably will look back and forget the tough decision making processes I had with every choice and experience I had at Hopkins. However, right now this decision-making process is very important to me. I want to make the most of my time at Hopkins, so making sure to seize opportunities is important to me. In the next two years I know that I will be faced with even more decisions to make, decisions that go beyond deciding what to do in a semester’s length of time. Although, keeping up with these decisions is important and there are a lot to make, I know that making choices after choices will help me in the long-run.

Until next time,

Jessica

That’s all I have to say really. Well, not really, but it’s shocking to think that this semester is almost over So much great stuff has happened: I had a fantastic costume required party at my house for Halloween, Sam and I had an election viewing/homework working date on November 4th, Will Farrel came and spoke in Shriver Hall, my work in lab got past a HUGE milestone: we’re done with the cloning part of the experiment finally after 6 months of experiments!, and all my classes just had a round of midterms/papers.

Through it all, I threw my friend, Sam P (not the normal Sam I always talk about) a surprise birthday party dinner, have made a point to get out to the Waverly Farmer’s Market every Saturday morning to get fresh, DELICIOUS, cheap vegetables for the week, and got Daniel a fantastic present for his 21st birthday. **Side note: I can’t believe my friends are turning 21! I feel like that’s the last huge celebratory birthday…when you get to 30 and 40 I feel like you start dreading those but at least we’re all still looking forward to 21 (because you get to rent cars of course!) Thank goodness I’m a youngin’ and my birthday isn’t until April. I’m holding onto my youth!**

Life at Hokins has finally settled back into it’s most comfortable insane rhythm. People are buzzing around, figuring out their lives, stressing over tests, getting ready to go home for Thanksgiving before the final push, and trying to stay sane when classes get really demading. I would argue this is my favourite Hopkins, not the people stressing, but the fact that everybody has a purpose, everybody walks around witha  purpose: get stuff done, and then when we’ve finally made it through that test or finished that paper, celebrating making it through one more semester together.

Thanks for the shout out Jess! I did, in fact, get into the study abroad program I wanted to. I’ll be in Santiago, Chile from February 22 until sometime in early July. I’m currently in the process of getting all the paperwork done: filing out all the forms, getting my student visa, and picking out classes for when I’m there.

And on top of that I’m working on my first ever 20 page paper (sure, I know that plenty of people write 20 pagers but deep down I’m still a science person and I’m worried that I dont have 20 pages worth of words in me!…I guess I’ll just need to augment my vocabulary…)

Oh, well I’ve got to go…Jess and I are baking macaroons later. I got the almond extract and even little marichino cherries to top them off. I’m very serious about my macaroons :)

First of all, Roxi, I’m so excited that you got into your study abroad program!!!! And I’m glad that you’ll be able to put the Spanish studying you were doing today in the library to good use. Since it’s November, I’m about to begin looking into study abroad programs and talking to the study abroad, public health, and financial aid offices about my study abroad options for next year. I’m super excited to just begin thinking about it, so I can’t imagine what it must be like to be accepted! And also, Roxi, thank you for inviting me over to your house for Halloween…it was a ton of fun without the hassle of getting to and from Fells Point!

Now back to my blog. Just like I said in my last blog, I have been in the academic world for the last couple of weeks. Hopkins is a challenging school (it would be rare for someone to tell you otherwise) and because of this academics are always the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. It’s Sunday, meaning I have been running through my head a list of my five classes and coming up with my approach plan for this week to make sure I get what I need done.

Before I left for school I was told by my mom to “study hard.” My mom has repeatedly told me this throughout my time here. My parents are paying for me to learn and I appreciate the financial sacrifices they have made for me to go to my expensive number one college choice, Johns Hopkins. My parents believe that education is highly valuable. Because of this, my job is to be a student and to do the best that I can. I would be lying if I said that I don’t stress. I would also be lying if I said that there aren’t days when I’m up late studying. However, I would also be lying if I said I disliked what I learn.

My mom also told me just minutes before I got in the car to drive down to Hopkins that “you can always transfer if you don’t like it.” Of course these weren’t the most comforting words to hear just hours before entering a completely new environment that I had been hoping for months to fall in love with. That being said, I have no intention to transfer, because I do like it here.

With both of these two pieces of advice that my mom has given me, I have also learned that studying hard doesn’t go hand-and-hand with liking Hopkins. In fact, the times that I have been stressed out the most and trying my hardest not to fall asleep go hand-and-hand with the times that I wish I was back at home, in high school, only worried about doing a worksheet for math class the next day. So what have I learned then? That even while I’m academically driven, I have also had to learn ways to keep myself optimistic and happy to be here.

And with that all being said, I give you my tips for getting through the academically-loaded middle weeks of the semester:

1) Give yourself a day or night to rest during the week. For the last couple of weeks I had planned to just stay in on Halloween, but I didn’t. It wasn’t because I didn’t have work to do. (I don’t think there’s such a thing as not having work in college.) But it was because I needed a night without reading. Even on those nights when I know I have to get some work done, I try to do smaller less-stressful assignments, which also give me satisfactory feeling of getting work done.

2) Don’t stay up all night. Last week, I was in the library until 1:30 in the morning on two nights. This may seem late, but I made sure to leave at 1:30 in order to get at least 6.5 hours of sleep in before my 9 a.m. classes. Yes, I’m aware that this isn’t the 8 hours that I should be getting (and oftentimes do get). But this is more than a lot of college students get during stressful times. There were plenty of people in the library just beginning to study when I was leaving. This is not the approach to take. And I guarantee that if you pack the studying into the wee hours of the morning, then you’ll definitely regret it later on. I’m happy to say that I haven’t pulled an all-nighter in college and I hope to never have to.

3) Explore. I regret that last year I didn’t explore my new home as much as I should have. This year, I have been able to explore Maryland more. Just last Friday, I went to Little Italy for the first time. Sure, that’s not that adventures, but just this little bit of exploring gave me a break from the Homewood campus. This coming Saturday my mom is visiting and I hope to be able to explore even more with her.

4) Don’t forget to talk to people. I know this sounds crazy, but oftentimes I get in an anti-social mode when stressed out. However, talking to others is important. Many other people on campus have the same stressful weeks of the semester as me. Talking to others allows me to realize that I’m not in this academic boat alone.

5) Take a break from your other commitments if you must. Last Sunday I realized that I would be too stressed out if I didn’t take the next day off from work. Luckily, the group I work with at JHSPH is completely understanding that there are bad weeks in the semester and they’re flexible with allowing me to switch my schedule around or work a little less. Also, last week I asked for a one-day extension on a SAAB assignment and decided not to go to one of my usual weekly meetings. I also didn’t go to my first class of the semester. Doing all of these things made me have my mind focused on getting my work done. Academics are my top priority and being a student is my number one job. So yeah, I wasn’t happy that I had to make these “sacrifices,” but sometimes doing things things are necessary for me, so that I don’t stress out too much or get behind.

6) Keep looking forward if you’re in a rough patch. Read Lauren’s blog to see how she has been able to stay optimistic even without loving her classes. I have been looking forward by looking into summer programs to apply to and thinking about studying abroad. This month I will be picking my classes for next semester, so that too will give me something to look forward to. I’m also looking forward to my mom visiting, Thanksgiving, and a trip to Washington D.C. However, I have also learned that college years go by quickly, so living in the moment is important too.

So these are my tips. They probably seem obvious, but the obvious things like eating and sleeping oftentimes are forgotten about during stressful times. I’m happy to say that I was able to have an enjoyable weekend and was also able get some work done. By following these tips, I am not only studying hard, but enjoying my time here too.

See you in two weeks (when our next president will (finally) be decided!),

Jessica

P.S. Roxi, I think you should post about Project Health soon. I know I’m at least super excited to hear about what you’ve been doing.

P.P.S. You may be wondering what I was dressed up as in the photo above. Well, let’s just say I was my boyfriend for Halloween (I raided his wardrobe)