Howdy y’all! Once again, let me apologize in advance for what I anticipate will be a long blog entry. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I’ve been having mini epiphanies lately and I wanted to share them. Maybe if you’re aware of them before you enter college you’ll be somewhat cognizant of them. K here goes nothing…
Exploring Hampden and someone had this cute wall e thing on the porch...
Basically, I was sitting down thinking how I had spent my last 2.5 years here and whether or not I was satisfied with them. There are students here who do so much: they travel the world, they serve, they effect change, they set the bar, they have fun…they live life and eventually reach a comfortable level of satisfaction with regard to their experiences.
life's a blur, but why would i want to spend it focusing only on fashion? fail wet seal, fail.
Had I been doing that? I was basically like, “Dominique, if you were to graduate now, would you be satisfied with how you spent your years here? Would you look back and see that you grew as a person, tried new things, had a genuine desire to learn regardless of grades and GPA, served the community around you, used Hopkins in as many ways possible, had FUN…??”
And in that moment I had to be honest with myself and say no. No, I would be nowhere near satisfied if I were to graduate now. BAM…it hit me like a ton of bricks. My freshman and sophomore years weren’t spent doing many of the things I mentioned above. Yes, I’m in cool clubs and organizations like this one :) , I’ve taken amazing classes, and I have met people here that have changed my life forever…but that’s not where I want things to plateau. I want to be able to look back on my 4 years here and say that I truly tried my best to get all that I could out of my Hopkins and Baltimore experience. Who would want to remember their college years as boring and overwhelmed with studying? I sure don’t! In the end, we’ll all have some kind of job, will get into some type of grad school, and have a life. But it’s hard to keep that big picture perspective when all you can see is is your present…right?
group picture!
My freshman year was a blur of stress, anxiety, uncertainty and close mindedness. I forsook going out and exploring and doing community service because I was always too worried about doing well in school (plus back then I was cheap and didn’t like spending money haha). I’m telling you, I was so obsessed with trying to do well! I was always concerned about grades and it was like an unrelenting dark cloud always over me. I was allowing myself to become a slave to the schoolwork monster. Even looking back at my freshman year blogs, I mostly wrote about school and stress because that was what was always on my mind. Not a good look! This is why I always tell freshmen to go out and ENJOY their freshman year, because there is no other like it. Don’t worry about grades so much, and focus on doing your best instead. Everyone in grad school, med school, and with jobs most certainly did NOT have 4.0′s!
My sophomore year was nowhere as bad in terms of worrying about grades, although I did have more than my fair share of rough moments. I would say that my sophomore year was more about maturing as a person and all of the emotions that went along with that, although I still wasn’t as dynamic as I would have liked to be.
Where does that leave me now? For one, I am nowhere as obsessed with grades and my future as I once was. It’s like I’m a different person, and it is so freeing. I am genuinely enjoying school and honestly I am not sure how many people can say that. I truly believe that you can only do that once you allow yourself to let up a little, loosen up, and just take life as it comes! Worked hard to study for an exam and failed it? That’s disappointing, TRUST me I know. Worked weeks on a paper only to get a C? Annoying…yep I know. Have friends who study minimally and still seem to do better, while you’re busting your butt to keep up with the average? YUP I know that too! But just take your lumps and move on! You can’t change what happened (most of the time) so all you can do is take it and move on and let gooooooooooooo.
see, someone was having fun! SHOUTOUT to whoever made this!
Once I got that into my stubborn head, school and life become that much better. But then there are people who say, “Oh Dominique you’re so idealistic, blase blah..” But no, I’m not..if anything I’m being realistic because I’m learning how to accept life, for the good and for the bad.
I DO NOT want to graduate from this place feeling like I did not get the most out of it. I DO NOT want to graduate from here with regret because I spent all my time here worrying about my grades and how I’m gonna get to the next step (grad school, career, etc). I do not want to graduate and have feeling of remorse because all I could remember was studying, worrying about grades, and being envious of other people.
I’m learning to love learning, for the SAKE OF LEARNING. Without consideration to GPA or how this can advance my career or make me a better grad school applicant. Foreign concept for many but a great one to try and grasp.
So where does all this leave me?
I’ve finally signed up for a volunteer organization, where I’ll be tutoring GED students 2hrs/week. I’ve started to use our lovely gym and will be taking yoga, cardiokickboxing and spinning classes there soon. I’m trying to shadow a public health professional just to learn more about the field. I’m going out to actual restaurants and trying new foods. I’m trying new hairstyles and new types of clothing. I’m checking books out from the library and reading them for fun. I’m going out to social events more. I’m becoming freer and freer each day and am much HAPPIER for it.
To end, here are some lyrics from a really cool song ( “Here Goes” by Bebo Norman)
“I never got anywhere by running away, I never learned anything without a mistake. I never loved anyone by playing it safe…Never lost and never found are one in the same.”
Keep this in mind prospective students, as you fight your way to schools of your choice. Choose places you know you’ll be happy at and places with a variety of academic and social perks. I know people talk about Hopkins as being boring but that simply is not true…I’m still overwhelmed by all that the school offers its students and I’m going to do my best to do more of them, until I graduate.
Your life is your story…what will you make out of it?
Until next time!
Dominique
Hi Dominique, my name is Mahzi and I have some questions regarding my future at Hopkins. I’m not very tech savvy so I’m not certain this message will be received, so I will wait for a response before further questioning…
Hi Mahzi, thanks for your comment! It’s hard to have a conversation via comments on blogs, but if you go to this site: http://forums.hopkins-interactive.com/topic/563345/1/
you can make an account if you don’t have one (it’s super easy!) and ask me questions directly there =]
This is a really great post, Dominique! Thanks for sharing :)
Thanks for reading :)
So, I love the use of “Howdy, Y’all”… :)
lol Noah… weirdo
Dominique I can SOOO relate to all of this & am glad to hear that you’re enjoying school so much more this year! Great entry :)