What does home mean? Home for college students is something that we are waiting to go to over winter break. It’s a certain feeling of comfort that is unmatched by anything else. There’s a feeling of belonging at home that is completely unparalleled. You have your own bed, homemade cooking, and old friends that you can automatically jump back into old stories with. Home always has a history, a past interwoven with every childhood memory, from the very beginning to the moment you back out of the driveway at six in the morning, and driving to Baltimore non-stop towards something else, something different and uncertain.
I’ve found out now that home can have more than one place and have more than one meaning than just my literal place of origin. It is anywhere that we feel comfortable, that we feel part of a whole. It can be any place where we have a history. Through the stress of midterms and now finals, along with the joy of late night talks with my sister, grabbing dinner with friends, or getting and giving secret santa gifts, I feel like I’ve really began to have something here. I won’t say that it’s perfect; nothing really is. There has been moments this year where I have doubted everything, moments of utter devastation, like in early November at three in the morning, sitting in the dorm hallway, holding a friend, staring blankly up at the ceiling tiles wondering how such a president could get elected. There has been mornings where I’ve slept through a lecture and wasted the first few hours of the day. There has been nights that feel never-ending, but at the same time, not composed of enough hours to get everything done.
Yet, there are also so many moments of joy and happiness too. There has been moments of elation, like when I finally get that one concept in stats, that moment when all the lingo starts to make sense and just becomes math. There has been breakthrough moments in an expos essay, where I finally gain momentum and find what I want to say within my own words, instead of as a lingering, intangible idea in my mind. There has been moments of thankfulness, as I embrace a friend after a long day and feel this mutual sense of relief of finding one another at the end of it. There has been Saturday mornings where I chow down into another delicious brunch and fall more in love with this city with every bite. There has been days of wandering around the BMA and soaking in all the Matisse I can before the museum closes. There has been many late night talks with the coolest RA anyone can ask for filled with wise words and pretty decent life advice. And there has been moments, surrounded by people that I truly care for, and even love, that I feel at home.
Oh! And Happy Holidays Everyone!!